A Fairy Tale of Epic Proportions

I was telling a bed-time story to Gigi the other night. It got a little crazy. This is the closest I could come to remembering how it went.

Once upon a time there was a princess who lived in a cottage because she did not know she was a princess. There were three old women raising her. They were really fairies and they knew they were fairies and that the princess was a princess. They were hiding the princess who did not know she was a princess from the evil fairy, Maleficent.

The princess who did not know she was a princess went out to the woods to pick berries. It was her sixteenth birthday and the three fairies wanted to make her a surprise. So they sent her out to pick berries. She knew something was up but she went anyway.

While she was in the woods she met a handsome young man who was a prince who knew he was a prince but he did not know she was a princess.

In those very same woods, not too far away, was another cottage where another princess lived. She knew she was a princess, but she didn't want anyone to know where she was because her evil stepmother wanted her dead.

Maleficent's crow went out in search for the princess who did not know she was a princess. On his way, the crow saw the other princess who was hiding from her evil stepmother. He returned to the evil fairy's lair and told her what he saw. She called up the evil stepmother and told her where her runaway stepdaughter princess was.

The evil stepmother was mad that her stepdaughter was still alive. She disguised herself as an old crone and took a poisoned apple with her to the woods so she could finally get rid of the princess.

Tinker Bell, who was flying through the woods on her way back to Peter Pan and the Lost Boys, saw the old crone and knew what she was up to. So she went to get help from the seven dwarfs who were working in their mines.

Meanwhile, the princess, who did not know she was a princess, returned to the cottage where her aunts who were really fairies had made a cake and a beautiful gown for her birthday. She was excited. They told her, then, that she was a princess.

While the three fairies were taking their princess to the castle, they saw a carriage riding really fast through the woods. It was a strange thing because the carriage suddenly turned into a pumpkin and there was a girl who had been sitting inside it.

She told the three fairies and their princess that she was just coming home from the ball where she had danced with the prince but she had to leave before her fairy godmother's spell was over. She had left her glass slipper with the prince on accident, but she was secretly hoping that he would use it to find her again.

This reminded the other princess about the young man she had met in the woods and how much she wished to see him again.

While that was going on, the old crone got to the cottage before Tink and the seven dwarfs. The princess took a bite of the poisoned apple and died!

The fairies left the girl in the woods and took their princess to the castle where she was supposed to be safe. Maleficent was waiting though and the princess touched a spindle of a spinning wheel and fell fast asleep.

Both princesses would have to wait for true love's kiss to break the spells they were under!

Tinker Bell knew that the girl in the woods would be able to help her get the princes to the princesses. But the girl in the woods was in trouble too! She was locked away in her attic by her wicked stepmother because the prince was going around town having every woman try on the glass slipper.

Tink and the girl's friends, the mice, eventually got the girl out of the attic. The wicked stepmother's cat tried to stop them but Tink hit him with a baseball bat.

The girl tried on the slipper and it was a perfect fit! The prince had found his princess! Tink and the girl who was now a princess went to the castle where the young man who had met a different girl in the woods lived. They told him of his love's plight and he stormed off to the castle. It was now covered in thorns and briars which he broke through but then there was Maleficent who had changed herself into a dragon. He killed the dragon by throwing his sword into her heart. Then he climbed to the tower where the sleeping beauty was and a true love's kiss woke her from her spell.

Tink and the three good fairies led the others to the woods where a glass coffin sat. Seven dwarfs stood around it with tears in their eyes. They did not know where to find the princess's prince. But then he came on a white horse and kissed the princess. She woke up and the spell was broken.

All of the spells were broken and they all lived happily ever after!

What about Tinker Bell?

She went back to Never-Never Land and played with the Lost Boys and Peter Pan. She, too, met a fairy prince and fell in love and she lived happily ever after as well!

(I purposely didn't use the names of the princesses in the story because it was fun. It made a little more sense in oral form than in written.)

The Tale of the Christmas Lights and the Missing iPod

It started to snow right when we finished the last of the lights.

Oh the Lights!

Once upon a time, my parents went to Utah for two nights and left me home alone. I had asked for the Saturday off in order to go with them, but a change of plans had made it so I could not go. During the weeks leading up to this Saturday off I had thought up a plan to make a surprise for my family. I would put the Christmas lights up. Not only would I put up Christmas lights in the normal spots (i.e. not up high and strung to the house), but I would also go all out and make a winter wonderland for my family for when they returned. This was a huge endeavor. I had never put up Christmas lights by myself.

I enlisted the help of my friend, Tyler, and we went to work after eating some Gandalfo's sandwiches. Okay so Tyler had a gyro (year-o) and I had a sandwich, but who's being that specific? Oh wait, I am. Anyway.

It took forever just to figure out what we were going to do. I purchased some lights for the extravaganza, but math is not my strong suit so I did not get nearly enough lights to go across the whole house. Luckily, I found some other lights to put up.

Now, I hate ladders. Absolutely, positively hate them. I kept telling Tyler this over and over. So he ended up being the one to go up the ladder. I was the one who got to move the ladder and make sure he didn't fall. Even watching him go up the ladder made me a little nauseous and nervous. I had to go up at least once just to say that I did. Yeah. I only did two clips and I was so ready to get down to the safety of stable, sturdy ground. After that I told Tyler he would be doing the ladder the rest of the time. There was no way in hell I was going up again.

So here I am in the middle of a snowy Christmas season with two things I really hate: snow and ladders. I must be going crazy.

The night was topped off with some hot chocolate. I had mine with toast. Tyler would not have his with toast because he thinks that's weird. If, by weird, he means "fan-freakin'-tastically tasty" then I would agree with him.

My Saturday off was pretty productive and stress-free. I cleaned and wrapped Christmas presents and switched stuff around in my room to make it flow better. Ever since I moved in my dresser has been clear across the room from the closet where the rest of my clothes are. Drives me nuts to have to walk all the way across the room back and forth just to get dressed. So now I don't have to.

Anyway...my parents and Gigi got home and they loved the lights. My dad and I went and strung up more lights. Before said adventure, I had stuffed my iPod in my coat pocket. Don't ask me why. I am not sure why I thought that would be a good idea.

Gigi was "helping" us string up the lights as well for a bit and I was playing with her hat and it ended up being stuffed in my coat pocket.

After I had been inside for a bit, my mom asked me to run to the grocery store. I usually just listen to my iPod in my car so I went to get it and it was no longer in my coat pocket! This would be the second time in just a few months that my iPod has gone missing, so I was frantic. I went to the store preoccupied with the idea of my iPod getting buried in the snow. So as soon as I got home I went on a search for it with no results.

I kept thinking that it would turn up eventually because that was what happened the last time I lost it. Actually the last time I lost it I ended up standing on my head to find it, so I guess you can't say it "turned up eventually."

By about 9:00 I was all tense and frustrated and in a panic. I was certain that it was ruined if it was, in fact, buried in the snow, but I had to find it just to be sure. I had been praying over and over in my head to find it, then I had gotten to my knees and said a fervent prayer pleading for the answer. As I sat and focused on my impressions after I prayed I got the thought that I should go ask my mom. I decided that I knew better and that I would go outside one more time then ask my mom if I didn't turn up with anything. My dad came out to find out what I was doing and I told him. He went back inside to get the flashlight and he apparently told my mom what was going on. She came out and started to help me look.

We were on our way out to where I had taken the pictures (above) of the lights and she bent over, saying "What's that?" and she had it in her hand. I just thought "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?" When she handed it to me it was really dry. When I gave her a hug she said "It was inside this whole time."

Apparently I had forgotten that I had sat down on cushioned chair in our front room before I went outside to help my dad. It had fallen out of my coat pocket when I was sitting down. Good thing. My dad had told my mom to go out and act like she found it outside. She did a good job. When I came inside my dad said "Guess you will have to wait til it melts out there to find your iPod." He didn't know that Mom had given it to me already. Such funny people my parents are. At any rate, I am glad the mystery was solved and my iPod was not ruined. Miracles never cease!