Vicious Cycle

I get so flamin' tired of the dating scene. My parents would say to that: "How can you get tired of something you never do?" Right. I date. Granted, I may not go on a date every week like they want me to, but I date. In fact, I am pretty damn certain I date more than a lot of the guys up here at the school.

(Author's Note: When I say "date" I mean official date. As in it's prepared for, planned, and paid for.)

Here's my problem...I tend to get all worked up over one girl and then focus all my efforts on that option. It usually ends up backfiring on me and not working out the way I hoped. Or, if we do go on a date, I get bummed cause the chemistry just isn't there like I had hoped it would be. In either case, I usually get even more bummed and down on myself for getting so worked up then I go into what I call "girl-hater mode" where I swear off dating for awhile. Then I get all worked up about another girl and the cycle starts again.

I'd been in a long spell of "girl-hater" but, this time, the vicious cycle had taken a turn for the worst. I found that I just couldn't get interested in anybody which was disturbing. Surely there was someone who would catch my eye. While it frustrated my parents that I wasn't excited about dating anymore, it only irritated me even more.

I'm not going to say names...There's this girl that I was interested in for a really long time off and on. Just something about her. At any rate, I finally got the nerve to ask her out. She preferred to "hang out" because she's still talking to her ex (?!?!?). Long story short, everything backfired on me. I saw a glimmer of hope, and now it's out.

This is just a rant. I am trying to figure out where I am in the cycle now. I really don't like being in girl-hater mode. That's no fun. Well, it is at first, but it gets old quick. Marriage is something that I really want to have someday. Hopefully soon.

But at the rate I'm going I'm going to be a 40 year old bachelor. Sick.