Monday, September 6, 2010

Three Date Marathon

This last weekend was a record breaker for me. I had three dates in one weekend!

1. Happy Valley: All summer I worked with a girl who goes to school at BYU. She's a lot younger than me and we get along great. It was really actually quite sad when she left on her last day of work. So we randomly set up a phone date. I don't know if it actually qualifies as a date but I considered it to be one. We talked for about a half hour. Quickest date of my life.

2. OSHA: This one makes a funny story. For the sake of identities I am going to refer to my date as Osha because she is a health inspector.

It was a blind date and the Cupid was my friend and coworker Lindsey. We doubled with Lindsey and her date. We went to Quizno's and ate our sandwiches by the river, then we went to Lindsey's house and played a game of Phase 10.

The whole date was sort of awkward. Blind dates are usually somewhat weird to begin with but this one was just strange. When we were at Quizno's, Osha got some yellow peppers on her sandwich and said she was trying them for the first time.

Me: Oh, you're being adventurous, trying some yellow peppers.

Osha: I've been more adventurous than that.

Ummm...okay. Am I supposed to be impressed?

That was fine though. I just brushed it off.

The Phase 10 game was insane. It started out nice and friendly but then Osha started getting competitive. I was getting tired. There were a couple times I went out just before Osha had a good hand and just needed one or two more cards to go out. At first it was no big deal but there were a couple rounds where she was actually ticked off at me for going out.


So, after the game, we took Lindsey and her date back to get her car, leaving me and Osha alone while I took her back to her house. Just fyi, Lindsey's date really likes her and the feeling is not so mutual. The whole night I just noticed how Lindsey was putting off signals that she wasn't interested.

While I was pulling away from dropping off Lindsey and her date:

Me: I think it's funny that he likes her.

Osha: Why is that funny?

Me: (thinking..."Really?") Just cuz he's preparing to go on a mission and she's not really all that interested.

Osha: He's allowed to like her. Just cuz he's going on a mission doesn't mean he can't like her.


So I forgot how to get back to her house so she proceeded to give me step by step instructions to how to get to Yellowstone Highway. Yeah. She's lived in Idaho Falls for 3 or 4 weeks. I've lived in this area for 10 years give or take, I'm pretty sure I know how to get to Yellowstone Highway.

We got to 17th Street and I remembered how to get to her house so I was going to just take Sunnyside up then turn left on Rollandet.

Osha: Oh, turn left here (on 17th).

Me: Oh I'll just take Sunnyside.

Osha: No, take 17th. (firmly)

Me: (swerve to the other lane)

Osha: But stay in the right lane.

Me: Ok. (swerve back to the right lane)

Osha: Because you will want to take the very next right.


So it was complete silence right after that while we were waiting for the red light to turn green.

In order to ease the weird tension that resulted after her navigation I asked her:

Me: So what kind of music do you like? (That was awkward and probably not the best thing to do because it was obvious that I was trying to lighten the weirdness.)

Osha: (not looking at me...was she crying? I still don't know.) Oh I like several different artists.

Me: Any particular artist?

Osha: Not really. I just don't like pop stars today. It seems like blah blah blah. Something about how pop stars don't have any talent these days and the most popular songs just repeat and repeat yada yada yada. (We got on the street she lives on). If you can find the zoo you can find my house.

Me: Oh that makes sense. I can never find the zoo.


Me: So do you like it here? How long have you lived here? (I never got the vibe that she was really happy to be here in Idaho so this was kind of a jab at her.)

Osha: I've been here three or four weeks.

Me: So do you like it here? (I repeated the question because I could tell she had avoided it. She wasn't getting out of it that easy. Call me spiteful.)

Osha: I really miss Logan and Utah State.

Me: (pulling into her driveway, thankfully.) Yeah, change can be hard.

Osha: Oh I don't mind change. It's just...(My mind didn't catch what else she said because I was too busy thinking about how big a contradiction she had just made.)

So. Let's get this date over with ASAP. I walked her to her door. Gave her a hug. She took awhile to get her keys and was sort of having troubles with it so I stood there sort of awkwardly, making conversation about her upcoming weekend.

Me: Is your key working?

Osha: What? (looking at me like I asked if the Earth was round)

Me: Oh I was just wondering if your key worked.

Osha: (opens her door and I feel like a jackass.)

Me: Okay. See ya!

So. Needless to say there will not be a second date with Osha. I would continue this portion with how I actually met Osha a week before the date, at a dance, and it was awkward even then, but I will refrain. I am already risking getting in trouble for posting this because Osha may stumble upon this blog someday and realize it's her I'm going off about.

Moving on.

3. Miss West Virginia: This date was 1000x better than #2. It was yet another blind date with Lindsey as the Cupid.

We tripled with Lindsey and her date and Mike and his girlfriend Lacey. We went to Bambino's and had a quick bite to eat then we went on a little tour of Art You Can Sit On, some benches made by local artists. It was really fun. My date was cute and I'm pretty sure there will be a repeat. We shall see though.

Sad that the bad date gets more coverage than the good ones. Oh well. It makes for a good story!


  1. Jake--you make me laugh :) Sadly, i can see myself in Osha's shoes and doing some of the things she did so I'm glad Jeremy didn't judge me so harshly :) But obviously you two are not a good fit, hope things work out with #3.

  2. LOL!!!!!! This made me laugh. Hard. Awkward life of dating. But I hope that number three works out!!! :D