Mall Scavenger Hunt Date

Yes. Two posts in one day.

The night before my awesome Sunday with Elder D. Todd Christofferson, I went on a really fun date. My date was Kira. It was a large group date with six couples. First on the agenda was a mall scavenger hunt. Here are a few of the pictures from that part:

I was a little late because of work. This is my date, Kira, giving a sad, dateless, princess face.

Apparently we are confused about either where we are or where we are going.

I was not here for this moment but I wish I had been.

Jon and Sarah Ann. So sad I missed the feather boa.

Monkey hat!

The Vogue version. Hot!

The GQ version. Yeah. We're cool like that.

Not sure how to rotate the picture. Sorry. We are hiding behind the bush. One of us took it a little more literally than the rest of us. *cough cough* Kira!

You can't see the logo on the side but the hat is a Harry Potter hat.

The second part of the date took place at Jon's house. We played a wild game of Curses, ate apple pie and ice cream, and played Kinect video games. It was pretty epic!

Awesome Date

Last Friday I had an awesome date. It took some meticulous planning and preparation for this event and I think it actually paid off.

I took a girl from my branch named Heidi. My friend, Tyler, took a girl he met on an American and Church history tour named Ali. And then Michael and Lacey came as well.

We had this little shin-dig at my house. I picked up Heidi around seven (she knows of my chronic condition that is called tardiness, I swear it is a growing problem these days). We came back to my house where we met up with the other two couples.

Randomly, when Mike and Lacey arrived, my aunt and uncle who live in Utah had followed them to our driveway, so when we answered the door, I was pretty surprised. They stayed long enough to leave a note for my parents and then they left.

Once we got situated we took off to Broulim's grocery store and got some pumpkins and candles. We took those pumpkins home and got to the business of carving while we baked some Papa Murphy's pizzas of deliciousness.

Our pumpkin, we decided, was going to be a pirate. Fred the Pirate Pumpkin. Complete with eye patch and bandanna.

Fred the Pirate Pumpkin in all his glory.

Mike and Lacey's pumpkin was fun but I never got a picture of it. They did a sort of goofy faced one.

Tyler and Ali's pumpkin was pretty sweet. See for yourself.

I love its huge mouth!

After carving pumpkins (or, rather, while Heidi and I were finishing our masterpiece) Tyler and Ali made apple cider. We had some pizza then drank the cider which was fantastic. Tyler had even bought cinnamon sticks we could stir our cider with. After that we lit our pumpkins and took pictures.

Mike and Lacey left after the light show. Tyler, Ali, Heidi, and I went downstairs and played Blurt! which is an awesome game. If you have not played it, check it out.

Hadjii and I took Heidi home. It was one of the best dates I've had in a long time.

Awkwardness

I wonder why I have never gotten over the awkwardness of talking to girls. There are a couple girls in my singles branch that I have my eye on and I was trying to talk to one of them today and everything that came out of my mouth was pretty idiotic.

Me: So that challenge that you left us...I didn't say anything because it is still in the works.
My Brain: WTF? This is so not how I had it playing out for you, Jake.

Her: Challenge?

Me: Oh yeah. The missionary work challenge.
My Brain: She doesn't even remember. Don't we feel like an anus?

Her: Oh right. Cool.

Me: I have a friend of my sister's...blah-blah-blah.
My Brain: Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shutupshutupshutupshutupshutup!

Her: Oh cool. That's awesome. At least it's in the works.

And that was that.

Before that, I introduced myself to a new girl in the branch.

Me: What's your name?

Her: (says her name)

Me: Oh hi, I'm Jake. (shake hands)
My Brain: Shaking hands? Really? Do you shake hands with girls? Is that kosher? I mean...you do when they're older but when they're your age and they are looking at you with big blue eyes and a great smile...is it okay to just shake hands? You obviously don't hug because that's just weird. And it's just awkward not to do anything. Okay, I guess we shake hands.

Her: Nice to meet you.

Me: Nice to meet you too.

And that was that.

Anybody else find this awkward? Why is it that a guy who is nearly 30 still cannot talk to women? I can talk to them just fine, I guess, I just say dumb things.

Maybe I should just carry a card with me that I would give to a girl when I see her and want to talk to her. It would say the following:

Hi. My name is Jake Taylor. I have a tendency to stick my foot in my mouth when I talk to girls so, in an effort to stop that from happening, I am just going to not say anything. You can talk all you want. I will just nod and smile and enjoy being in your presence. That is all. Have a wonderful day.

Okay so maybe not. I try not to overthink what I say to girls but, in doing so, I end up just thinking about not overthinking and so I end up getting all worked up about that.

So this is the reason I am still single. In case you were all wondering.

A message to all the girls out there (especially the ones from my branch who happen upon this): If you see me trying to talk to you, just give me a break. I promise I will try and not say anything too dumb. Okay. I can't promise that. But just don't take everything I say as something I would normally say. I'm just nervous and awkward around girls most of the time. So yeah. Cut me some slack.

That is all. I probably made myself look like a total idiot now. I can talk to girls and I do know how to flirt and all that. It's just the initial breaking the barrier that gets me. How do you start conversations...etc...

Moving on.

Three Date Marathon

This last weekend was a record breaker for me. I had three dates in one weekend!

1. Happy Valley: All summer I worked with a girl who goes to school at BYU. She's a lot younger than me and we get along great. It was really actually quite sad when she left on her last day of work. So we randomly set up a phone date. I don't know if it actually qualifies as a date but I considered it to be one. We talked for about a half hour. Quickest date of my life.

2. OSHA: This one makes a funny story. For the sake of identities I am going to refer to my date as Osha because she is a health inspector.

It was a blind date and the Cupid was my friend and coworker Lindsey. We doubled with Lindsey and her date. We went to Quizno's and ate our sandwiches by the river, then we went to Lindsey's house and played a game of Phase 10.

The whole date was sort of awkward. Blind dates are usually somewhat weird to begin with but this one was just strange. When we were at Quizno's, Osha got some yellow peppers on her sandwich and said she was trying them for the first time.

Me: Oh, you're being adventurous, trying some yellow peppers.

Osha: I've been more adventurous than that.

Ummm...okay. Am I supposed to be impressed?

That was fine though. I just brushed it off.

The Phase 10 game was insane. It started out nice and friendly but then Osha started getting competitive. I was getting tired. There were a couple times I went out just before Osha had a good hand and just needed one or two more cards to go out. At first it was no big deal but there were a couple rounds where she was actually ticked off at me for going out.

Wow.

So, after the game, we took Lindsey and her date back to get her car, leaving me and Osha alone while I took her back to her house. Just fyi, Lindsey's date really likes her and the feeling is not so mutual. The whole night I just noticed how Lindsey was putting off signals that she wasn't interested.

While I was pulling away from dropping off Lindsey and her date:

Me: I think it's funny that he likes her.

Osha: Why is that funny?

Me: (thinking..."Really?") Just cuz he's preparing to go on a mission and she's not really all that interested.

Osha: He's allowed to like her. Just cuz he's going on a mission doesn't mean he can't like her.

Okaaaayyyy...

So I forgot how to get back to her house so she proceeded to give me step by step instructions to how to get to Yellowstone Highway. Yeah. She's lived in Idaho Falls for 3 or 4 weeks. I've lived in this area for 10 years give or take, I'm pretty sure I know how to get to Yellowstone Highway.

We got to 17th Street and I remembered how to get to her house so I was going to just take Sunnyside up then turn left on Rollandet.

Osha: Oh, turn left here (on 17th).

Me: Oh I'll just take Sunnyside.

Osha: No, take 17th. (firmly)

Me: (swerve to the other lane)

Osha: But stay in the right lane.

Me: Ok. (swerve back to the right lane)

Osha: Because you will want to take the very next right.

OMG.

So it was complete silence right after that while we were waiting for the red light to turn green.

In order to ease the weird tension that resulted after her navigation I asked her:

Me: So what kind of music do you like? (That was awkward and probably not the best thing to do because it was obvious that I was trying to lighten the weirdness.)

Osha: (not looking at me...was she crying? I still don't know.) Oh I like several different artists.

Me: Any particular artist?

Osha: Not really. I just don't like pop stars today. It seems like blah blah blah. Something about how pop stars don't have any talent these days and the most popular songs just repeat and repeat yada yada yada. (We got on the street she lives on). If you can find the zoo you can find my house.

Me: Oh that makes sense. I can never find the zoo.

Silence.

Me: So do you like it here? How long have you lived here? (I never got the vibe that she was really happy to be here in Idaho so this was kind of a jab at her.)

Osha: I've been here three or four weeks.

Me: So do you like it here? (I repeated the question because I could tell she had avoided it. She wasn't getting out of it that easy. Call me spiteful.)

Osha: I really miss Logan and Utah State.

Me: (pulling into her driveway, thankfully.) Yeah, change can be hard.

Osha: Oh I don't mind change. It's just...(My mind didn't catch what else she said because I was too busy thinking about how big a contradiction she had just made.)

So. Let's get this date over with ASAP. I walked her to her door. Gave her a hug. She took awhile to get her keys and was sort of having troubles with it so I stood there sort of awkwardly, making conversation about her upcoming weekend.

Me: Is your key working?

Osha: What? (looking at me like I asked if the Earth was round)

Me: Oh I was just wondering if your key worked.

Osha: (opens her door and I feel like a jackass.)

Me: Okay. See ya!

So. Needless to say there will not be a second date with Osha. I would continue this portion with how I actually met Osha a week before the date, at a dance, and it was awkward even then, but I will refrain. I am already risking getting in trouble for posting this because Osha may stumble upon this blog someday and realize it's her I'm going off about.

Moving on.

3. Miss West Virginia: This date was 1000x better than #2. It was yet another blind date with Lindsey as the Cupid.

We tripled with Lindsey and her date and Mike and his girlfriend Lacey. We went to Bambino's and had a quick bite to eat then we went on a little tour of Art You Can Sit On, some benches made by local artists. It was really fun. My date was cute and I'm pretty sure there will be a repeat. We shall see though.

Sad that the bad date gets more coverage than the good ones. Oh well. It makes for a good story!

Happy Independence Day!

The above image taken by my good friend, Matthew Mellor.

I celebrated Independence Day by going on a date! We drove up to Rigby and had a Bambino. If you don't know what a Bambino is then you are missing out. It is pretty much life-altering just by partaking of this delicious morsel. Now, we went up to Rigby just so we could also go to Riot Zone, the local miniature golf and family fun center. By the time we got there, however, they were closing early for the fireworks show in Idaho Falls.

It had been 10 years since I had seen the Idaho Falls fireworks, and I thought it would be a fun date which it turned out to be a great idea. We trudged through the crowds, found a parking spot, then walked along the river until it got dark and the show started. It was spectacular and a lot cooler than I remember it being. My friend, Tianna, says that fireworks "tickle the cockles of [her] heart" and I can see why. You could feel the rumble of the popping explosions in your chest along with a swelling of emotion and love for our country.

I drove my date home and we actually escaped the crowds pretty quickly. That is until I left her house and there were several other people taking the same back road I was going to take.

All in all it was a great time. I love this time of year where we can reflect on our freedoms and the people that made it, and continue to make, it possible for us to live the way we do. However, it seems that the word "freedom" has become skewed to mean something more akin to "entitlement." I'm not a fan of people who feel that they are owed something because we live here. Part of the beauty of our American heritage is that we work hard for what we get. You cannot just sit by and let the government take control of everything. By feeling entitled to certain privileges we are, in fact, losing those freedoms. As government gets more power, we lose our voice and that is not what our founding fathers wanted.

So, on this 4th of July, think of your freedoms and decide now to fight for what you have and not let them be taken away. Make this a year of a change in perspective. I love this country and do not want to see it put it in a hand-basket and sent off to Hell.

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!

Riddle Me This

Ok, ladies out there...

Riddle me this:

A guy asks if you want to go out sometime. He's clearly nervous. So you say "Yeah sure." Then he gets your number while making an awkward joke about how it's a good idea to have a number if he wants to call you.

He calls you the next night. You don't answer. He leaves a message. Slightly less awkward but still sounds nervous. In the message he says "I will call you another time."

The next day he calls again. Another message. This time a little more relaxed and less awkward. Again, in this message he tells you that he will try again another time."

It's a Saturday. He calls you again in the afternoon, obviously trying different times of the day to see if you're available. This time, at the end of the message, he tells you that, if you want, you can call him after a certain time and he will be available.

That night you don't call.

WHY DID YOU GIVE HIM YOUR NUMBER IN THE FIRST PLACE?!?!?

Is it so much to ask for common courtesy of "Thanks, but no thanks..."? I put myself out there by asking for the number. If you're not interested I will respect you more if you say "No" than if you say "Yeah" and then don't respond when I call.

THIS, my friends, is why I don't date.

So if anybody has any light they can shed on this I'd be glad to know.

Up! And Away on a Date!

So. I've never been a fan of blind dates. Well, I take that back. I like them. Ok. I don't mind them. I groan a little before the fact, but it usually ends up being decent. Besides, it's a good way to see how well your friend or family member (whoever is playing Cupid) knows you. If they know you really well then your date should go well. Theoretically.

For example, I was set up by my dad on a date with a girl in his ward up at the college. She was nice, but it was one of the worst dates I've been on. The whole night was awkward. I could tell she didn't want to be there and I wasn't sure why which only made me more frustrated. I spent loads of money on this girl, too. She is now engaged to a guy she started dating not long after our hellish date.

I've only had a handful of good blind dates. So maybe I'm masochistic because I still agree to go on these excursions. My good friend, Jeremy, wanted to set me up with a girl who was a sister missionary on his mission. I surprised even myself and agreed to go. It took me awhile to finally call her up and set up a date.

We did a classic dinner and a movie date. The dinner was at Winger's. I had not known there were still people in Rexburg who had not been to Winger's, but my date was one of the dying breed that hadn't. So it was a treat. And she enjoyed it. We had good, easy conversation throughout the whole date.

My original plan was to do dinner and a walk around the park, but we were waylayed by some unexpected rain. So I made a quick backup plan and figured we could go to a movie. We ended up going to Disney-Pixar's new flick: UP! It was a fun movie that had consistent laughs and a few sad moments. All in all it was a good pick.

I had a really good time. It's dates like these that make me realize that blind dates aren't always such a bad thing. :)